August 7, 2013: Seizing a Moment in the Sun

In the last two years, we have taken a number of wonderful, amazing vacations. We have gotten to spend time with family and do some incredible things. Yes, even swimming with dolphins.

Yet every single time we have embarked on one of these trips, we knew we were rolling the dice. Every time, we have the front of our heads smiling while the back of our heads were nervous and worried. We’ve gotten away with it. Multiple times.

But sometimes when you roll the dice, you lose.

Stella started feeling a great deal of serious pain almost from the moment we got there. Most of the time she couldn’t leave the hotel. She did venture out to go for a dip with the dolphins. But after that it was clear that she needed medical care. Not wanting to end up stuck in a hospital in Orlando, we sent the kids on to my family in California and then flew home.

We had a CT scan today and unfortunately the cancer has grown. We have no choice but to resume chemotherapy tomorrow morning.

We met with a pain specialist (how would you like that as a job description) and Stella now has some serious medicine to help her tolerate the pain. But I think no matter how good the narcotics are, the best thing for the pain was for Stella to be able to have some time with her family. All we week she was surrounded by those who love her. And being Stella, she actually felt guilty for bringing everyone down. But even in pain, it was clear that she relished being with her parents, her brother and his wife, and their adorable children.

We rolled the dice and now I think that despite how everything turned out, maybe we didn’t lose after all.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

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