October 9, 2012: Fight Like Hell

I wasn’t going to write today.

But I can’t help it. On the one hand, I feel that I need to reassure everyone that just as we defeated cancer against all odds before, we WILL do so again. I can write that both of us are determined and ready to do battle and then everything is going to be alright.

But at the same time when I let my guard down I feel myself slip into the nightmare of terror again. Cancer is a sneaky coward. We beat it fair and square. It needs to leave us the “F” alone. We’ve been there and done that. We were ready to move on. Stella has spent months trying to invite everyone on the Yishuv to Shabbat meals to show thanks.

But the cancer was not done. It changed and developed a resistance to the chemo drugs. And it has now returned. The holidays are over.

What this means is that we will begin with a new chemo drug, one that the cancer is not resistant to. We will have to do weekly chemotherapy rather than every three weeks. And we know that we MUST keep a positive attitude.

You do not have to avoid either one of us. Just please e-mail rather than call. And please do not ask my kids medical questions. Just let them be kids.

We do not need any lasagnas (or other chesed meals) at this time. Spend the time you would have made a lasagna saying some tehillim (prayers) for Stella. And please support my ride. I really don’t care how much you give. Give what a sandwich cost. If that’s too much, give what a pickle cost. But I feel if thousands of people around the world are giving in Stella’s name, it has to mean something. Don’t worry about the riding. I’ll take care of that.

But Stella and I are going to end up spending a lot of time at Shaare Zedek. Let’s help them do something tangible that will make things just a little easier for Stella and the other cancer patients.

Now to answer the questions many of you have been too kind to ask, yes, I did lose my marbles a little bit on Simchat Torah. So what. As you could all see, I was fine the next day. Just dealing with this is like being at the beach and standing in the surf. Most times you can float on top of the waves. But every now and then, they can knock you over. Only thing to do is get back up and get ready for the next one.

Stella feels fine except for one thing. She really feels bad that she is going to put us all through this again. If there is one thing she hates it is seeing so many people upset.

And that just shows you how special my wife is.

But we all know that.

Thank you all for your support.

Now let’s fight like hell.

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