December 2, 2013: Voice from the Hills

Amazing what a night’s sleep (even if medicated) can do for you. That and a good run.

I ran today. I ran the length of Ein Bokek and then some. Twelve kilometers at a fast — at least for me — pace.

In Ein Bokek, you run by ancient stony mountains that have stood over the Dead Sea for thousands of years. And from these mountains, I heard — no I felt — Stella’s presence.

I felt that she is now much, much more than she ever was on Earth. She has become eternal, like the stones on the hills. She is in the rocks, and the hills, and the sea, and the sky. And she is with me.

All the time I was running, I felt her comforting me, telling me that things would be all right. Different, but all right. I don’t know the biology behind it, but running can change your entire mood, your entire outlook. Just me, the road, and those old desert mountains. It felt like nothing else existed.

And Stella assured me about one thing — a simple fact that had escaped me somehow until now — I no longer have to take care of her. All those hospital visits, blood tests, injections, discussions with the doctors, pharmacy runs, and everything else is no longer necessary. (ok, G, you HAD told me this this morning, but it didn’t sink in until my run.)

I can do it. When she was alive I felt I could slay dragons for her. And now that she is no longer here, why can’t I just keep slaying those dragons? Sure the road ahead will be hard. But that’s never stopped me before. I ran a half marathon one year, then later switched to full marathons, then to ultra-marathons and epic bike rides.

It wasn’t my choice — by far — to be in this race. But I’m here.

So what the F*k, bring it on.

Yarden Frankl, Ein Bokek

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